So you just had the wedding of your dreams (or you're just curious about life after the big day). You may find that newlywed life can be overwhelming at times. Newlyweds often regret that they spent more time planning their weddings than their marriages. Read through the following so you know what to expect as a South Asian newlywed.
Sure Auntie Ji, we would love to come to dinner.
Get used to the line above because it will be coming up in conversation frequently after your wedding. A South Asian wedding is never just about the bride and groom, more than often the entire extended family is involved. Needless to say, they will all be anxious to have you over for dinner after the wedding. At the same time, you'll be giddy from your romantic honeymoon and the only thing you'll want to do in your free time is cuddle with your new husband.
The best idea in this situation is to have a sit-down with your parents or in-laws and let them know how often you are comfortable with attending these dinners (whether that is 1 dinner a month or 4 if you want to get them over with sooner). Let the parents take care of the scheduling with the aunties and uncles once you let them know which days you are free. This way you have minimal involvement with the back and forth planning and instead get to simply arrive and be pampered at Dolly Auntie's dinner (and then Seema Auntie's dinner the following week).
Another wedding invitation?
Dinners aren't the only events you'll be expected to attend after the wedding. Now that you're a part of a new family and social circle, you will have double the weddings and parties to attend. Your new in-laws will probably also want to take you along to religious events and family gatherings. Again, ask for advance notice and be cooperative when it comes to your schedule. Of course, it's not necessary that you attend everything that comes up. Try to make all of the more important events and save the excuses for when you really need them. Hang in there; pretty soon your husband's cousin will find a wife and she will be the new talk of the town.
When did I turn into the Indian Barbie?
This thought may come to mind a few times while staring in the mirror post-wedding. You may not see the need to change anything about your attire now that you are married but we are sure your mother and mother-in-law will feel quite differently. Newlywed women have been dolled up for generations by their mother-in-law's. It's their chance to show off the new addition to their family in front of all their friends. It may seem like a hassle to spend so much time discussing the best outfit and jewelry choice for the next social event, but it will be worth it when you see your mother-in-law's smile. So suck it up and be prepared for the ooh's and aah's from all the aunties when you walk into that party.
Namaste Bhua, I mean Masi ... wait, how are we related again?
You thought memorizing your co-worker's names was hard, wait until you meet all your new relatives. Chances are you will have met them before the wedding, but probably not in as much intimacy as you will after the wedding. If you're marrying into a large extended family be prepared to meet a lot of relatives who will know everything about you. Your job will be to learn all about them (or at least enough to get by) and then memorize this information. It will be overwhelming at first to be greeted so warmly by so many people, but we promise you will get the hang of it. Have your new husband help you out, even if that means quickly whispering a relative's name in your ear as she is walking towards you.
Babies? We just got married!
Without a doubt, the most asked question of any newlywed couple is "So when are you two having children?" Remember that we come from a culture where women were once expected to deliver children 9 months after the wedding. Chances are you may not be ready to take on such a large responsibility so quickly. As time goes on, this question will become more frequent so be prepared. Enjoy your time together and let everyone know that you're still taking time for yourselves.
